Change Isn’t Always For The Worst

By: Kai Sanchez

two people with hands claspedWhen Anorexia came into my life, I knew I’d never be the same. To be truthful, I haven’t been. Everyday became a battle against myself, a one sided war that could find no victor. I avoided mirrors and meals became more and more difficult. The people around me watched me deteriorate but despite all the pain it caused me, it also saved my life. I know it’s not a common occurrence for someone to say their illness saved them, but for me, I was able to build resilience. I found myself fighting for my own sanity. Even when I had nothing left to give, I fought, and that gave me strength. Mirrors will never be my best friend, but day by day I learned to find hope in the own reflection of my face. I traced my curves until I found a piece of me I could learn to love. Every day, step by step, as I poured all my energy in learning how to survive, I grew as a person, I learned how to cope, I opened up in ways I never had before. I found people who had faith in me; I came to accept that every day changes you. At my lowest point, I heard many times that things get better. This statement felt so far from me- what is better? How do I get there? I was at the bottom, how could I even imagine the top? So instead, I told myself things get tolerable. That I’ll be able to manage this, that functioning on a day to day basis wouldn’t drain me until I had nothing left. Finally, I made it and when I found tolerable, better wasn’t so far away anymore. Life will throw you curves, build mountains in your path, and hills you must climb, but life will show you the light as you look back on how far you have come.

Kai is a young adult who enjoys writing poetry in their free time, obsessing over video games, and plans to go to college in order to pursue a career in the Mental Health field.

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One thought on “Change Isn’t Always For The Worst

  1. Miss you everyday! You continue to grow, teach, and try hard. Keep up your hard work know your village at Youth Move is behind you. You Rock!!!

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