Better than I ever thought

So, my life has been very hard. I was living in a home with my mom and stepfather (my real dad is in jail) and they didn’t know what was best for me. It was very scary along with having them abuse me and they’d think it was only in fun but it was not fun for me. Then DCF came in and changed my life.  They first took me away two days after my 13th birthday.  I hated that year so much because of that.  I was very upset and so was my mom and my family. They wanted me back, but I went to a foster home where they spoke only Spanish so it was very hard for me.

Then I was moved to different foster homes and I just started to run away. Even though I would come back in two to three days, at the time I didn’t know why I was running away.  I felt lonely and no one understood me and running did not help. It might have made it worse.  All I wanted to do when I was 13 or 14 years old was to go back home.

After the years have gone by, I know why they took me out of my house, though I didn’t then. They took me out of my house because it was very unsafe with my mom hitting and “horse playing” or that’s what my mom called it. There were loads of times during our visits when my mom would bring things I did not enjoy because she still wanted her “little girl” back.  I knew that was never going to happen and by the time I turned 16, I knew I was not going home.  At that point, I really was hoping that I did not have to go back home. I would have been very scared if I had to go back there because I did not know what my mom would do to me or if she would do anything to me. Things might have turned out worse than they did.

I think I have turned out better than I ever thought I could.  I never thought I would be where I am right now and I really am impressed with myself. No one can say that I can’t do something because I know that they are so wrong about me.  Look where I am today!  I am going to high school, I’m in twelfth grade and hopefully going to get my diploma this year. I worked at PPAL  as an intern during the summer and it is really fun getting into the working business:  making blogs, phone calls, folding, stapling and other jobs.

I still have struggles but that is to be expected in my life and I control them as much as I can. I know that people look up to me so I try to be a good role model so others can look up to me and use me as a good influence. I think about all that I have been put through. I coped with it pretty well and I think the most hardest part of my life is done with. The court stuff and the mom stuff is over and done with.  I am very happy about that because that stuff really stresses me out. I know other  people really hate when I am stressed out because, well, you can tell when I am stressed.  I think what happened to me helped me after all and I am a stronger person  because of it. I want to thank everyone who has helped me.  I really believe that because I have gone this far because it’s made me stronger.

Our guest blogger, Patricia, is a remarkable young adult.  She is a member of Youth MOVE Massachusetts. Her experiences help inspire others and allow youth/young adults not to feel so alone. Patricia is an amazing support.

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9 thoughts on “Better than I ever thought

  1. Your positive outlook is remarkable. Keep moving forward, you have a lot to give. Thanks for sharing, you are making a difference.

  2. Patricia, thank you so much for sharing your story and your strength with us and with other young people.

  3. Your story has helped me in so many ways. You do a great job in expressing your experience and how you felt about it. You are not alone. Keep the journey real……….

  4. I was impressed when I read this.m I was the foster mother for a child I got when she was 4 from a very abusive, neglectful home. This child was with me from age 4 until age 16 when I could no longer keep her safe. I loved her as my own but that was never enough. She did graduate from high school with me as her advocate as education is so important. I am still in her life but she has chosen to live her life in ways I cannot accept nor tolerate. I do still try to help and I pray she sees the light but she will be 23 soon, has been in jail, had a baby and the baby taken away. Kudo’s to you for trying the right way. Life is so much better when you do.

  5. Patricia,
    What you say about your experirnce is so important to other kids in foster care!
    I advocate for many students who are in foster homes, and one of the most difficult
    things for us people who are trying to help these kids is knowing what are the specific
    things that are hard for them, that they want to change, that they wish were different…
    Lot’s of times when we ask these kids we hear “I don’t know” or “I don’t care” – but we
    want to know because we care enough to try to make changes you want ! Please continue
    to tell others about your experience and let foster kids know that they do have a voice….
    and if they use it, things could get better along the way! You rock!

  6. I was very moved by what you wrote. We all have a lot to learn from you. Keep fighting for what you need.

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