Depression has been my constant companion for as long as I can remember. There in the background even before I knew its name. Sometimes it is very small, just a slight nudge that you can ignore. Sometimes it is full blown, wanting me to just shut down the world around me.
It is a constant struggle to keep depression in the background. Get up each day, go through the motions. Make a list; check off what has been done. Do not focus on what has not, focus on what has. Elusive happiness.
When will it be in the forefront? Existing each day is not enough. Happiness has visited before. It will come again. Treasure the happy moments. The smile, moment of laughter, hug of a loved one.
Believe in yourself. Believe that it will get better. Hope is the key.